Tag Archives: childhood

Imaginary Friends

I’d like to introduce you to Quonzo
(pronounced kwon-zo)

imaginary

Can’t see him? Me either. He’s invisible apparently but George knows he’s there.

He arrived in the am of November 17th. Falling through the roof of our house, he began play sword fighting George.

I was quickly introduced to Quonzo as he made himself comfy on our settee, the fattest of our cats on his lap and a story to tell.

So from what I’ve gathered, Quonzo is about 5 inches wide, almost 6 feet tall, with brown spiky hair…oh and he’s 100 years old.

Quonzo was meant to be staying with us for 4 days as he was moving house…100 miles away but it wasn’t ready yet.

Our neighbours (George’s pals)over the road have recently moved out and according to George, Quonzo had been living with them.

So Quonzo has seemingly dipped in and out of our lives, with hubs and I being happy to talk about him if George mentions him, but otherwise we aren’t reminding him of his existence. Hubs is under strict instructions from me NOT to piss Quonzo off (ya know, just in case he is a 100-year-old spirit).

So we’ve been informed by George that Quonzo’s move has in fact been delayed and he will now be staying with us for 100 days.

You don’t have to be a genius to come to the conclusion that Quonzo’s presence is most likely a byproduct of George’s anxieties over us selling our house.

The sale is still going through and until we exchange we aren’t in a position to secure a rental. There aren’t currently any properties on the rental market that suit our needs either.

I’ve talked to George and asked if he is worried about moving house and he said he is. I’ve tried my best to reassure him that all our things will come with us and it simply means that we will have more space. It’s a good thing.

If Quonzo is his way of helping him through the process, then I’m all for it. I’m just relieved he didn’t tell me he was a deceased relative. Although that could’ve been quite nice.

Nonetheless Quonzo has raised some questions. On the morning before Quonzo appeared, George had come into our bed in the early hours. His sleep is restless at the moment, after a good five months of sleeping through the night, he’s clearly not switching his mind off.

So we’re all laying in bed about 6am and George sits up and says “I can hear someone talking downstairs”. My ears aren’t great and I have to wear hearing aids to hear certain tones, I also have tinnitus which worsens the more silence I’m surrounded by.

I couldn’t hear any talking. I asked George what he could hear and he said he heard someone say “Daddy” and it was probably the cats talking. He then spent that morning trying to encourage the cats that it was ok to reveal to him that they could talk. Not more than a few hours later, Quonzo appeared. Strange coincidence?

Imaginary

Even weirder, George at one point started to get quite aggravated that he couldn’t remove his new friends name. I didn’t want to remind him so I told him to go and ask him. He went over to the spot where Quonzo was apparently sitting and whispered to him. Returning to me he said “it’s Quonzo”. That threw me. Was this a game? George’s memory couldn’t remember his name but Quonzo actually told him?!

I’ve lived in my house 11 years and I’m pretty certain it isn’t haunted. Both my mum, and I believe I have a slight inclination towards being able to feel a spirits presence so I think I would know. Quonzo doesn’t scare me.

I’ve done some brief reading and spoken to friends who’s little ones also have an imaginary friend. Whilst there doesn’t  appear to be an obvious reason for theirs, I’m certain George’s is to do with us moving. Everything points to it. He’s also recently learnt to count to 100 (although he can never remember what comes after the 9, 29,59 etcetera).

My brief research suggested not to disregard the imaginary friend but also not to encourage it in the sense of pretending you can see them.

The whole concept really fascinates me and I shall certainly be doing some reading to try to understand this moment in our lives better. If nothing but to help George through the transition of moving.

The main thing I’ve taken from Quonzo is that my child has an amazing imagination. I’ve always been known for my unusual thoughts and over active imagination. It’s lovely to know that George has inherited this and we can share and create stories together.

Secondly I’ve read that it’s a perfectly normal thing for preschoolers to invent imaginary friends. The fact George has told us about Quonzo doesn’t worry me. I’m happy that he feels he can share his secrets and worries with us.

What I will do is be mindful of what we discuss around George regarding the move. He’s already suggested maybe he should ask Father Christmas for a new house. We’ve told him that’s not for him to worry about and Mummy and Daddy are using their wishes for that. The last thing I want is for his little mind worrying about something that will be a fabulous next chapter in our lives.

Imaginary

Has your little one had or do they have an imaginary friend? Do you remember having one as a child? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments below.

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

Lucy At Home UK gentle parenting blogger

Predicting The Future – What Will My Child Become?

We all want our child to become something amazing…don’t we? An astronaut, the next intellectual mastermind, a doctor, olympic gold medalist. We enrol them in piano lessons, footie trials, phonics classes, making them count every step so they can be ahead of their peers.

When he was still in my womb, I was adamant George was going to be a genius. He wasn’t going to get it from me, even his Dad isn’t of genius status. But was Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking’s parents of a high IQ level? I honestly don’t know, but I really thought it was something I could nurture George to be. It’s becoming evident that he wasn’t born a genius. Some of his peers are already ahead of him and amaze me so much with their knowledge and abilities. I’m pretty sure if you have a genius on your hands you would know by the time they are 2 years old.

So genius status out of the window I’m thinking rock legend, footie player, olympic snowboarder or maybe an architect? I’m totally not one of these pushy parents. Whilst we try to include learning in our everyday play, I’m all for enjoying the world around us. I totally believe in the notion that children learn best through play. With George I’ve seen it with my own eyes.

Right now, in his three long years, I can’t pinpoint any one particular skill that he has. Anything that seems extraordinary for a child of his age. Except one thing.

Health and safety.

Since he was a dot he has been meticulous about health and safety. Constantly risk assessing everything. Whilst he learnt to walk at 11 months, it wasn’t without some blatant risk assessing going on. He was too scared to sit himself back down again when he learned to stand by himself. He would stand himself up then cry until someone helped him sit back on the ground again. Bumping on to his bottom was not an option. And so it’s continued.

He once spent 20 full minutes at the top of a baby slide at the soft play, assessing whether it was safe to go down. I was directing the other children to go round him until eventually he decided to climb back down the steps and abandon all notion of it. You can’t force him to do things he deems risky either or he will cry for a lot longer than just the task in hand.

As time as gone on though I have noticed that this behaviour isn’t fear. He isn’t scared of climbing or jumping or running. He’s more than content to lean over the edge when we are at the top of a really high castle wall. He loves going fast on his bike and scooter and whizzing them up ramps.

It appears he is actually scared of anything which makes him feel out of control. Swings, slides,roundabouts, fair rides…if he can’t be in complete control of what happens he won’t enter into it.

So that’s his niche. His forté. He likes to be in charge, in control, getting his own way. I often liken him to a mini communist dictator. What three-year old doesn’t like getting their own way though! Only we have noticed a pattern lately when hubs pointed out this is very much Mummy’s forté.

I am master of getting my own way and not in a diva dance but just skilfully and tactfully willing people round to my idea. Failing that I’m so laid back sometimes I often go with the flow, I do like a surprise.

So what of my control freak child. What future will this trait lead him to? I’m so excited to find out. Of course there’s absolutely no pressure on him to be anything fabulous. Someone at George’s school recently shared a quote on the group page which really struck with me;

‘Don’t become preoccupied with your child’s academic ability. Instead, teach them to sit with those sitting alone. Teach them to be kind. Teach them to offer their help. Teach them to be a friend of the lonely. Teach them to encourage others. This is how they’ll change the world.'”

Author unknown. 

I think this says it all.

George is amazing. You can literally see him analysing and processing tasks during play. He is master of building and creating things. His imagination is much like my own and he loves nothing more than to watch the world go by.

He has a passion for living creatures and making sure they are safe. We once spent 10 minutes in the street, waiting to ensure a snail had safely crossed the pavement. I offered to assist, I wasn’t allowed. Maybe he will become the future David Attenborough?

In all honesty as long as he is happy and enjoys what he does and it sustains his way of life then I’m happy for my future son, whatever he may become.

What hopes and dreams do you have for your child(ren)?

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday