judgement

2017 – When every day is judgement day.

2017 has brought with it an increase in access to the internet, which, in my opinion, has increased our so called “knowledge”. We all think we are so damn knowledgeable about everything. Parents are literally the worst culprits of this.

Looking at my examples below, you’ll come to the conclusion that as parents we can’t do right for doing wrong. There will always be someone who doesn’t agree with what you are doing or have done. Is it any of their business? No! Are they with you 24/7? Doubtful! Should you give a toss what they think? Absolutely not! Will our children all turn out ok in the end? More than likely.

And those that supposedly turn out perfect may no doubt make some poor choices in adulthood. Perhaps they’ll make choices that mess up their lives and make us judge them moreover. There are many, many ways to live and grow. Very few are the “wrong way”. Please just stop judging.

Stop judging yourself, judging others. Stop making snide comments and passing hurtful looks. Instead try offering help to a parent that looks like they are struggling. Try offering praise to someone who looks like they are doing a “good job” by your standards. Appreciate that there are other ways to parent, and enquire with the person politely about their method. You may actually find a “better” method for your own parenting/grand parenting.

Any of these sound familiar?

Did you see that mum in the cafe, bottle feeding her baby? Poor kid is missing out on all those nutrients. Why doesn’t she breastfeed. Why doesn’t she want to give the best to her baby?

Did you see that mum in the cafe, breastfeeding her baby? Attention seeking she was. Getting her boobs out for everyone to see. Just so she can make the rest of us feel inadequate like we aren’t doing the best for our babies.

Did you speak to that that mum at the park? 5 kids she has and she wants more! She’s so selfish. Those kids will never get the attention and love they need with that many to look after!

Did you speak to that mum at the park? Her little boy is an only child and she doesn’t want anymore! She’s so selfish. That child is going to miss out on so much without a sibling to share it with.

Did you see that mum at the zoo? All her children drinking juice and eating chocolate and sweets. More fool her. All their teeth are probably rotten and it’s all her fault.

Did you see that mum at the zoo? All her children drinking were drinking water and eating homemade sugar free muffins. More fool her. First chance they get they will be stuffing their faces secretly with sweets, chocolate and fizzy drinks. And they’ll miss out at birthday parties. It’s all her fault.

My gosh did you see that mum letting her kid run along on the pavement? He could’ve run in the road and had an accident any minute. I was on edge just watching. She’s so irresponsible. (I’ve actually heard this one).

My gosh did you see that mum making her kid hold her hand and wear reins whilst walking along? Give the kid some space or he’ll never learn. She’s making a rod for her own back.

Did you see that mum ignoring her child and looking at her phone? Look at your kid for crying out loud! Watch him play.

Did you see that mum following her child on all the play equipment? Step back and let him breathe! Let him play by himself.

Did you see that mum shouting at her child in the supermarket? You should never speak to a child like that! She should always remain calm and composed.

Did you see that mum in the supermarket letting her child get away with lying on the floor screaming whilst she quietly stood there? She didn’t do anything! She’s teaching him it’s ok to be a spoilt brat.

The list goes on and on. Moral of this post…we all do things different. Every child is different and has their own needs. By all means if you are genuinely concerned for the safeguarding of a child then please take action by reporting to the appropriate authorities.

If you believe you may be guilty of being judgemental of your fellow mama, try our three simple steps;

(1) Take a moment to think of some of the reasons this mum is doing what she is doing. Appreciate that she knows her own children and her own mind. She may be having an off day. She’s made her own choices after weighing up the facts for herself.

(2) Close your eyes and walk away. It’s not your child. It’s not your way. If there’s no safeguarding issue. You are just being a bitch. Mind your own business.

(3) Do you remember when you had your first child and when you no doubt did exactly the same thing she did? You’ve since changed your style but it doesn’t make your choice any better. It’s YOUR choice for YOUR child at THAT time.

Just to be clear. None of the above opinions are my own. Thankfully I don’t hang in circles where opinions like this are expressed. You only have to click on the comments of most Facebook stories to see this type of know-it-all negativity.

Do you think we are giving each other too much of a hard time? I know I give MYSELF a hard enough time. I don’t have anything left to berate others and wouldn’t dare. We won’t judge here.

 

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

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42 Comments on "2017 – When every day is judgement day."

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Tracey Bowden
Guest

Fab post. I agree totally the internet has definitely brought out many a parents judgemental side and the nasty side to a lot of people. It’s most definitely no one else business how you bring up your children.

I was always told if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all. A lot of people could do with remembering this.

Anne
Guest

I don’t judge, I never have done. I get shocked at the keyboard warriors who feel they have the right to judge others.

#blogcrush

Rachel George, Ordinary Hopes
Guest

I used to be guilty of judging things related to children and childcare. Then I had a child!

The Internet does bring out the worst in some people. It is so easy to comment without thinking about how it might sound too. #KCACOLS

The Mummy Bubble
Guest

Yes, yes! Bang on! I so agree with everything you say here. I can’t stand it when people judge other mums’ parenting styles. It’s so appalling. We are all different, it doesn’t make us wrong! X #kcacols

Lydia C. Lee
Guest

They are now doing studies on why people are so mean on the internet and why so vicious about it. It’s an interesting look into a very ugly side of human nature. 3 kids in, my judgement has def died down! #KALCOLS

Andrea @ Topsy Turvy Tribe
Guest

Totally agree. One of the biggest lessons I have learnt as a parent is not to judge. It’s a hard job, we don’t had all the answers and sometimes just have to do what works to get through the day! #KCACOLS

Kimberley | Oh Just My Little Blog
Guest

The thought of judgement does make me nervous for when my little one arrives in January x #KCACOLS

Caro
Guest

Great post, and very true. People also forget that what they are seeing is a single snapshot in time. The kids who you see eating sweets may be having their once weekly treat – it doesn’t mean they eat like that all the time. It’s like judging a book by its cover. I always try to remember that I might disagree with how someone is doing something, but it’s irrelevant if they aren’t doing it to my child.

And… imagine how boring life would be if we were all the same anyway! #KCACOLS

Ann from Rainbows are too beautiful
Guest

Totally agree – although I will judge myself – but only against my own ideals and thoughts. #kcacols

Pickinguptoys
Guest

I hate judgey people let people do what they have to!I had a woman tell my girl she shouldn’t be wearing a blue hoody because it’s for boys and give me a look. What the hell though?! #kcacols

RACHEL BUSTIN
Guest

The internet brings out the worst in people all the time. I suppose because they can hide behind a screen they say what they want. I don’t know why they can be so judgemental and feel it’s their right to do so. We are all the best parents we can be and we all do it differently. There is no right way! xx

#KCACOLS

Nicole | The Professional Mom Project
Guest

I really try my best not to judge others. You never know what someone’s situation is. It would be so much better if we could help each other out rather than judge. #KCACOLS

Fiona Cambouropoulos
Guest

We all do our best in the harsh world of parenting and that’s just it, we do our best. Others might do things differently, it doesn’t make one right or wrong so I’m with you, best not to judge. Popping by from #KCACOLS

Amy
Guest

Oh yes, this is too true. It is very easy to judge, we all do it and we need to stop! #kcacols

Tracey
Guest

This is so true, even when people think they are being helpful by advising other parents they don’t realise that every child is individual and what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another! #kcacols

Pen
Guest

I think parents have always been subject to lots of judgement and comment, often from random strangers. The internet has magnified this and has given the judgement airtime and publicity. It is quite sad. Pen x #KCACOLS

Ali Duke
Guest

The judgey world we live in is awful. We give ourselves as parents enough of a hard time without others adding to it.
#KCACOLS

five little doves
Guest

SO true!! I’ve forgot what it was like to live in a world without judgement, it was probably 1998 before I discovered the internet!! It’s awful how much this happens, more so as parents! #KCACOLS

Sinead (shinnersandthebrood.com)
Guest

Agreed. Always so much judgement. To be honest I think people are getting a little better though. Either that or I’m tuning out the negativity! #KCACOLS

jeremy@thirstydaddy
Guest

Its amazing sometimes how much courage people have from behind a keyboard, when the person isn’t right in their face #KCACOLS

Madeline (This Glorious Life)
Guest

I wonder if sometimes people judge other people as a way of trying to deal with their own insecurities. There’s just no need for it though, is there. We’re all just doing our best, making the choices we think is right for our families. x #KCACOLS